A raw expression

Was sitting in my garden on front of the computer screen. It was at the end of an online sharing circle. I was the only one who hadn’t shared and I knew it was my turn. I didn’t know what to share and decided that I would let my body “do” the share. And so as the timer started, I (my body) stood up. My arms pushed out into the air as if I was pushing something away, creating space for my self. Then I reached my arms towards the camera my hands, wrists dangling. “There is something I want to let go off” my voice said and I felt a state of craziness kicking in.

Then I shouted, shortly. My body moving as if I was fighting. Shouted again. More fight moves. And one more shout. This time very loud. It was raw, powerful vibrations moving from my core, out through my throat and into the surroundings. RRAARGH.

Then sadness came and I felt my eyes tearing up. Huhh.

All this was led by my body.

In this moment there was no fear of social abandonment neither from the neighbors nor from the group.

In the aftermath I could see that this was my body expressing frustration around a conflict I was experiencing with a collaborator. I had an experience of energy being stuck and I wanted to move it and transform it. My body clearly showed that to me (who am I now? my body or mind? Am I not one? Anyway).

I am astonished by moments like this. When I give the mic to my body things happen that I could not have foreseen. My body has outlets, expressions that it can share. The only thing I do with my mind is to go into a state of allowance. Allowing for one bodily impulse to take the other. huh. That is crazy. For me many, many, many actions come as a consequence of a thought. My imagination and thoughts deciding what to do. And then my body does it. This bodily way of being is another. Less visual and it comes from subtle sensations…

The photo is taken during a festival gathering in the night. It was another moment where I allowed for a raw expression in a social setting. We were invited to share our intuitive sound and so I did.